59. Creativity and Error

This episode explores how those of us with ADHD and wandering minds often link our “scatter” to creativity. Of course, turning creative ideas into finished work requires managing motivation, energy, time, and life rhythms. And when scatter turns into "error", we can become completely derailed.

It may seem counterintuitive, but I would argue that "error" is a vital part of creativity. That being said, while Bob Ross’s “happy accidents” and Miles Davis’s attitude toward mistakes can be inspiring, this mindset tends to only ring true for masters of their craft.

Perfection paralysis and self-accusations about mistakes can cause harm and prevent us from moving forward or even starting in the first place.

But I like to define creativity as discovering what you’re making over time. This should leave no room for what may be perceived as a mistake, whether in art or even in practical tasks.

So when we are confronted with a perceived error or mistake, I invite you to pause, acknowledge any emotions coming up, and use error to realign rather than ignore it.

We close out with an experimental music piece, “Inspawn,” which is a combination of "inspire" and spawn". It gives you a glimpse of how I learn jazz techniques through play and letting creativity take me on a journey with no mandatory destination.

Transcript

The Lovely Chaos of Creativity

But my scatter is my creativity!

Those with ADHD, wandering minds and the like are often creative. Sometimes we attribute that creativity to the feelings of scatter itself. This idea, that idea, they all jump in and suddenly there's a connection.

But there can be troubles with creativity. Guiding it to a conclusion means several things, including managing motivation, energy, time, balance in the rhythms of our lives and more. Today I thought we can consider the vital role of error in creativity.

The Shackles of Perceived Mistakes

Pithy statements from Bob Ross. Talks of "happy accidents." Or Miles Davis who talks about not fearing mistakes as there are none, sound wonderful. They can even resonate as true. But really mainly is true for a master in their craft.

If I were to pick up a paintbrush, and by some amazing luck was able to create the Mona Lisa, but then somewhere I, I dunno, threw a splash of red paint across it because that's really where my painting abilities are, that might be a mistake.

But the truth in those pithy statements is that we can create more trouble for ourselves by accusing ourselves of making mistakes.

Creativity as Playful Discovery

Anyway, let me back up a moment. Creativity. What do I even mean by creativity?

Creativity is this development of something over time as a discovery. We discover what we're making in the act of making it. We don't know the steps there. We don't know what the end will be. There's some blurriness to the vision.

We don't know, maybe both the steps there or what the end might look like. In this way the information, the skills, it's not entirely within our conscious awareness. Some aspect of the work is outside of us. And in this way, the act of creativity is about discovering something as we make it.

That doesn't have to be about art then, it could be a budget, a report, fixing a door that's stuck. Whatever it is, we try to envision something and then take some gentle step forward. That idea of a next action of breaking off, a small piece, of slowing down, of searching for the simplicity, the fundamentals, but then there is error.

The Perfectionism Problem

Somewhere we discover that whatever we're doing is deviating from that blurry vision, making it worse. We don't know where we're heading, but where we're heading doesn't seem quite right. Many with ADHD end up berating themselves somewhere here.

The so-called perfectionism may have prevented even reaching that first step, as effective as it is in defending ourselves from the shame that might arise when we're looking at trying to complete a thing. As we are a creative, we weave together this unknown as we resolve this vision.

Discovering Curiosity in Emotion

Let me take another side step for a moment and define emotion.

I've defined it in other episodes, is that which comes to mind. Admittedly a different definition than what you might be used to, but it allows for a different point of view that can be helpful here.

For example, words, thoughts, even logic. These are the cresting of emotion into consciousness. We're trying to understand what we can trust to exist, for example, when these thoughts then are the manifestation.

Now what does that have to do with ADHD? If we define emotion this way, every emotion has discovery within it. There's this unknown becoming known, and this transition can touch off other emotions. When we're in flow, things are building. It can be delightful.

We're moving through those windows of challenge. Neither overwhelmed nor bored. But when errors appear, that deviation from vision, because emotions are involved, they have this tendency to find their way through the windows that are open now.

The "I should have known," it leads to this wave of regret. "What don't I know," can touch off fear. "What does this say about me that I don't know?" Well, this wave of shame can grow.

The shoulds, the woulds, the potentials, and all the rest, entwine with anger, if not rage, themselves finding lightning rods in ourselves and the worlds around us. These feelings might have been born in the early years of being chastised and accused of being lazy and whatever. They all echo. Finding their way through those channels that are now open to consciousness.

Practicing the Pause

What can be most helpful, as it is often most helpful, as it is also often most difficult, is to first pause. Within that pause, we can now practice acknowledging those emotions as they come to mind. As we're in those sessions, in those visits.

Because as we do that, we can see those symbols, the stories, the ideas, whatever they are that relate to the vision or not. We can engage this lifetime practice of care, bravery, and mastery.

Whatever the craft, you can see that pain of lacking perfection. And in so doing, we see that error that's inevitable. The path will always deviate from the vision. The mistake is ignoring it. The lesson is in acknowledging it 'cause that's where we can realign and engage once again.

Inspawn

Today's piece of music is called Inspawn. It's kinda like inspire and spawn mixed together as a word that probably isn't a word. Anyway, that's what it is. Um, I've been experimenting a bit with, with, uh, jazz, trying to learn it.

As if that's a thing I can actually completely learn. It's not, it's, it's another vast field, mountain range on which to, to try to climb. But you can hear a bit of the dominant major, or major sevenths I should say, and maybe some, uh, as well, some ninth chords in here.

It starts to grow more into the jazz realm when you start adding more of those higher, harmonic registers. Anyway, just learning it. And when learning, I think it's always about, uh, trying to integrate play in some way, 'cause that's the way you make it a part of yourself.

And, and so that's what I'm doing. Anyway. Hope you enjoy the piece, it's not exactly jazz, but you can hear some of the little echoes of jazz in here perhaps.

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